A drop in a bucket

Unlike a lot of people, I actually like my job.  The company I work for has good people, a strong vision, and I enjoy what I do. But like most people, I don’t love my job. That is what brings me here.

I grew up dreaming of making worlds and crafting narratives but I never thought that going into the gaming industry was an option for me.   My track was to a job that is well, bland.  At this point in my life though, I can’t drop everything, go back to school, and start a new career from scratch.

My options are then to continue on a career path in corporate America and spend 50 hours a week doing something I only like.  Or inch myself towards doing something I love for the rest of my life.

For the last few years, I have been incrementally teaching myself how to make video games.  My first taste was with Blender, learning how to 3D model.  I started to get serious when Unreal Engine 4 was released for free and since then I’ve taught myself the basics of C++, rigging/animation, texturing, and other core building blocks of game development.

I am finally getting to the point where it feels like I have enough knowledge to actually make a game.  Each time I’ve tried and failed to finish a project, I’ve gotten closer.  I have all the tools and now its just a matter of putting them together.  It’s so close I can taste it.

So why then, am I writing a blog?

The words I am typing now will probably just be a drop in a bucket in the middle of the immense ocean of the internet.  But I’m not starting a blog to gain a following rather, to hold myself accountable to my goals.  I intend to use this as a way to keep myself going — to celebrate the wins and share my failures.   To organize my thoughts and force me to think from a high level in terms that will make sense to other people.  I am doing this for me so that the thoughts swirling around in my head are forced, in some small way, to become real.

If you do happen to stumble across this post, I hope you find some value in what I share and will stick around for the journey ahead.


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